The Kitsune Den: Today's Writing Prompt Is....! Ice Cream

The Kitsune Den: Today's Writing Prompt Is....!

From frozen wastelands
Calls the chilly treat,
Begging me to indulge
And eat it straight from the carton.
No, evil confection!
Tempt me to gluttony no more!

Today's Writing Prompt Is....!

Write a personification poem about something in your kitchen.

To participate in this writing prompt, click on 'Blog This' in the menu bar.

The Kitsune Den: Today's Writing Prompt Is....! Mmmterrors!

The Kitsune Den: Today's Writing Prompt Is....!

I shift my backside on the slick butterscotch leather of the chaise in Dr. Lumborg's office. I don't know why it's supposed to be a relaxing experience; that squeak is like fingernails on a chalkboard. Dr. Lumborg doesn't seem to notice, lost in his private drumming session, pattering out a cadence with his pencil on his desk pad.

"Well, shall we discuss your dreams?" Dr. Lumborg smiles like a hyena, a disquieting method of showing his canines that fails to set me at ease at all.

I press back against the leather nervously. "Oh, you're a Freudian, I didn't know there were any of you left." I fidget for a moment, trying to get comfortable and only giving off more squeaks from the upholstery. "Okay, let's see. the one that I tend to have the most often, or at least remember, involves Hanson."

"Han-son," Dr. Lumborg divides the name into syllables as if it were two seperate words. "Do you refer to those Mmmbop children?"

"Those are them, that's right." I tap my toes, fighting to repress the horrific catchy chorus of the 90's. "It's not that I'm a fan of them in particular. Sure, I hummed that damned song, but so did everyone."

"Interesting... Go on," the doctor invites with a smile that encourages me to dig myself in deeper, to demonstrate my insanity.

I start to sweat under that gaze. "Well, like I said, I'm not a fan or anything. But in my dream they're still kids, about the Mmmbop age. And their bus breaks down outside of my house. I should mention that in the dream I live out in the middle of nowhere." I feel my cheeks turn crimson. Wasn't that the name of the album that song was on? God, I'm going to convince him I am a fan! I take a deep breath and plunge ahead. "Anyway, there's nobody to fix the bus, so they move in with me. It's a disaster because, well, they're teenage boys and they eat everything. I have to refill the fridge daily and run myself ragged cleaning up fast food and candy wrappers. They skate all over the place, upstairs and down--"

"Like the video." Dr. Lumborg peers at me over his glasses as if accusing me of being obsessed with the blond boppy trio. No, I'm an Aerosmith fan, I'm into rock! I want to cry, but instead I nod like a fool.

"Exactly like the video. And the girls. There's a hundred grade school aged girls with hand-printed signs covered in glitter saying 'We love Taylor!' and 'Marry me Zack!' on them. On top of everything else I have to protect those bottomless pit boys from the crazed girl fans killing my front lawn by pitching tents on it."

By this point, I'm clutching the air, gasping like Roxie Hart giving her courtroom performance. "You'd think I'd be suffering enough, but then they do it! They convert my living room into a studio and start playing that song, over and over! Mmmbop ba duba dop ba do bop, all day long! I can't escape it! It's actually a relief when I step on a skateboard Ike left on the stairs, I think I'll finally make it out in death, but no, I just become paralyzed and they think I'm dead, so they bury me in the crawlspace and I get to lay there and listen to them mmmbop for eternity!" I collapse with a sob, reduced to quivers of terror at the memory of that nightmare. "Dr. Lumborg, please, what does it mean?!"

Dr. Lumborg takes off his glasses and carefully wipes them down. "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, my dear. And sometimes a mmmbop is just a secret no one knows. Oh, no one knoooooows. Mmmbop, ba duba dop, ba do bop, ba duba dop ba do bop--"

I wake up in a cold sweat and stare with horror at the bottom side of floorboards a foot above my face, dust shaking down from them from a heavy base beat. Mmmbop.

Today's Writing Prompt Is....!

Write a dialogue between a therapist and a patient who needs bizarre dreams interpreted.

To participate in this writing prompt, click on 'Blog This' in the menu bar.

The Vaults Down Below: Raven-22

The Vaults Down Below: Raven-22

Just to bring two of my favorites in literature together.

The Kitsune Den: Today's Writing Prompt Is....! Kitsune and the City

The Kitsune Den: Today's Writing Prompt Is....!

I am a kitsune. Now most westerners are not familiar with my breed of mystical, but those who know Asian folklore are probably a little worried and concerned that my kind actually exists. According to their legends, we're undead spirits usually seen as foxes, but who can with equal ease assume the form of young women or wily scholars. Akin to vampires, we feed not on human blood, but rather on human passion and souls. Well, this is partially true, as almost all legends are based in some fact. We don't really -need- to feed on human passions or souls, we're just wildly attracted to them and can't help the temptation to mess around with mortal minds to arouse such passions, but we don't deserve the frightening reputation.

Most kitsune nowadays, myself included, spend more time in human form than as foxes. Urban sprawl has simply made it easier to settle down and blend in than to try to defend our constantly shrinking territory in the forests, and dogs are a lot less likely to take chase if we're on two feet. This doesn't mean that we've given up our penchant for furred frolics, and I simply have to slip off every once in a while for a run in the wild, or more often, the somewhat wild. Follow this up with a stop at IHOP for some fruit and pancakes and you have pretty much the perfect kitsune day.

One nice thing about cities is that there is almost always some sort of human passion happening that we can just soak up. Strolling through the mall is a perfect place to absorb wild amounts of free-flowing emotion, and traffic jams are practically a source for gluttony. It's also quite easy to play harmless and anonymous pranks, such as leaving napkins with gum on the floor of a theater to be stepped on. That sort of thing can keep us amused for hours. Sad, I know.

My favorite thing about living in a city, though, is the food. I've already mentioned IHOP, which has so many offerings that a kitsune is eager to devour. Pancakes, eggs, and fruit being among our favorite things ever, there's bound to be a kitsune in almost any IHOP you wander into late at night. In-n-Out is another happy destination for kitsune, and Wendy's late night window satisfies our nocturnal nature. There are enough sushi bars in Riverside to keep my other craving for fish and rice sated. If someone were to open a toasted marshmallow stand, I think my life would be utterly complete in the dining out department.

As you can see, it's actually rather nice to be a kitsune in the modern age. In fact, you may have a kitsune in your neighborhhood without even knowing it. Just watch for the person watching everyone else with a bemused smile, nibbling on a marshmallow with a twinkle in their eye.

Today's Writing Prompt Is....!

You are a mystical creature. Describe yourself and what it is like to survive in your modern urban or suburban environment.

To participate in this writing prompt, click on 'Blog This' in the menu bar.

Dry out your brains!

Well, the sun is out again, not sure how long this will last. Hopefully long enough that the brains of the suffering victims will dry out.

I find it a tragedy and nothing to joke about that 10 people lost their lives in a mudslide in La Conchita. It's a tragedy that people lost their homes. It is, however, a burr in my panties that this foreseeable tragedy is now being blamed on people who were smart enough to not live in an unstable area.

You see, this is not the first mudslide to cause loss in that exact neighborhood. Ten years ago, well within memory's time, there was another devestating mudslide that destroyed homes and lives. The county recognized at this time that this particular hill was not compatible with life and demanded that residents sign a waiver acknowledging this before they moved back in and rebuilt. The county put up a retaining wall at a great deal of expense and wished them luck.

In spite of this, the victims today seem to forget all the warnings they were given and now blame the county for not telling them there was a danger to their persons and property. What the fuck? But it's not just a matter of their stupidity resulting in death and destruction. No, now we're asked to foot the bill.

There are those who say that's fallacy, that they are the ones who pay in the form of higher premiums and fees levied on their property. Bullshit. If that was the case, our governor would not be lured into the stupid precedent of offering loans to people who knowingly put themselves at risk. Ventura County would not have had their resources stripped thin in rescue efforts and would not have had to put their emergency workers in danger. No, it comes back to us, to me and my pocketbook, and while that's open in a heartbeat for those who suffer poor fortune, those who bring it upon themselves deserve to foot their own bill, especially when they blame others for not physically removing them from risk. It's called personal responsibility, people, like eating fast food and getting fat or smoking and getting cancer. In this case they played Russian roulette with Mother Earth and she won.

Turning tragedy into fuming fuckheadedness, however, is accomplished by the Governator's pledge to help the survivors rebuild. In the same fucking place! What, two times isn't enough for these Darwinian rebels to learn? Our state is still in debt to an extent greater than most nations in the world, Arnold, and you're going to set up the precedent for people living in known danger areas to get a free ride on their risk?!

I've shaken my head in disbelief for years as I watched local development boom. Riverside and the surrounding communities had been built in a specific pattern to avoid the high flood/fire risk areas such as Mockingbird Canyon and Box Springs. Now, thanks to the same people who ripped out most of our orange groves in favor of cookie cutter planned communities, these areas known for four foot deep rivers and rushing firestorms every decade or two are full of half-million dollar homes inhabited by innocent imports who don't even know the disaster history of the land under their feet. I don't know why they're permitted to build in these areas when you can't build on known faultlines. After all, wildfires, floods, and mudslides are by far bigger factors in the damage and fatality toll in California from natural disaster than earthquakes.

Still, there is a difference between those who are put in danger by unscrupulous developers and those who rebuild in a place that's not an if for disaster, it's a when. I didn't choose to live there and I wouldn't, no matter how beautiful it is. I shouldn't have to pay for their foolish choices and neither should the rest of California.

Zealous Atheism

What is with these wild-eyed freaks of late who, foaming at the mouth, are taking up the time of school boards and court rooms everywhere? Now, let's get one thing straight, I'm not on the side of rabid radicals of any religion. I am, by upbringing and faith, Christian. I don't use this as a reason for telling anyone else how to conduct their lives, what to believe or not believe, and what to teach or offer to teach in the schools, provided it is a voluntary course with actual academic value and doesn't promote violence or intolerance. So a school wants to offer a class on the Bible in history and literature. Get over it, people, nobody will be forced to take this class and no level of anger or venom is going to remove the historical influence of the document known to us as the Bible. It does not require faith in or adherence to the tenets of the Bible to recognize that it is the document with the greatest single influence on European and American history and literature following the Christianization of the Roman Empire. If studying the history and literature of the Middle East you'd better check out the Koran. If you want to get grounded in Asian history and literature you're going to need the Art of War as your guide.

The whole concept that a book that founded a majority religion could have, therefore, significance as an academic document is lost, however, on the militant atheists. I need to, again, pause and point out it's the radicals in any religion that cause my hackles to rise, not the genuine but tolerant adherents, so don't think I have the least bit of a problem with atheists. One of my favorite musical artists of all time is a firm atheist, Gary Numan, and I respect his views, which are thought out and based on his personal experiences, and he respects the views of those who believe differently than he does. All fine and cool, let's move on then. If you want to write a textbook, codify a curriculum, and present a course on the importance of Nietzsche, be my guest. So long as, like the Bible in History and Literature course, it is voluntary, there is no viable reason to deny such an offering to those students interested. If radical Christians then turned and sent in a band of outsourced lawyers and petitioners to prevent students from having the opportunity to take the course, I'd be just as annoyed. You, on the other hand, would be outraged and would call them hatemongers and repressionist zealots. So why is it that you think you're standing up for the rights of students by denying them access to discourse just because it involves a book you have philosophical and religious disagreement with?

You see, part of the problem is that the radical atheists aren't atheists because they don't believe in a deity. They're atheists because they're pissed off at someone who does. Atheists who simply don't believe in a deity aren't threatened by religious displays any more than they're upset by the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, or Harry Potter: it's all just fiction to them and it's not an attack on their person if someone else is crazy enough to take it as real. They aren't going to go shutting down the expression and exploration of others, even if they would have great passionate debates with them over the validity and proof of their respective positions on the spiritual. It is one thing to firmly, strongly, and passionately, even vehemently have a view, it is another to try to quash the rights of another to simply learn the concepts of another view.

No, Christianity is not and should never be the national religion of the United States of America. Atheism is not and should never be, either. With your constant lawsuits against everything from the pledge of allegience to Boy Scouts in public parks to nativity scenes in public view to courses about the influence of the Bible, you've become the new book-burners. Shame on you. Chill out and stop telling everyone else how to believe.

What the hell is wrong with the nekos?

Alright, I'm just wondering here, but why must we have the weirdest herd of cats on the planet? I thought it was bad enough that we had a whole faction of vegetarians. Yes, vegetarian cats. Three of our cats consistantly turn up their noses at the very thought of meat. If offered leftovers on a plate that include steak, chicken, egg, and brussles sprouts, they'll snag the sprouts and take off, growling viciously. One time Sun Quan, our little California Spangled princelet, chanced upon a momentarily unattended In-N-Out double double and what did he do with it? Ripped it open and made off with the tomato, which he guarded under the table for a full half hour before devouring. The vet says it's fine so long as they're otherwise healthy, but they do tend to fart a lot and anyone who's had to live with a gassy cat can attest that there's no more eye-watering stench to be found.

Anyhow, it's the sexual issues with the cats that's got me confounded now. Look, I have no problem with their orientation. We haven't had a straight male cat in this house for years now, they're all bi at the very least. In the case of Lupin, he wouldn't touch a female in heat if she was laying splayed and begging in front of him. It is Lupin's other.. issues.. however, that cause the tension in the household. Lupin is the Michael Jackson of felines. I am completely serious. He is a pedophile who is determined to make Garfield's childhood a living hell. And I'm not talking about dominance behavior here. We've all witnessed male animals leaping other males for a speedy dry-hump to let them know who is who. No, Lupin seduces his victims. He will spend hours grooming Garfield, luring him with treats even, all so that he can straddle the poor kitten and have his perverse way with him. I've had to rescue Garfield from this twice today alone and thus Lupin is banished to the mud room until he gets himself under control.

I really don't want to witness his getting himself under control, either. The reason for this is that Lupin's specialty in the stupid pet trick catagory is masturbation. I am not talking about self-cleansing here, which is a basic feline hygeine behavior. No, this is something different. Our cat actually flops back and uses his hind paw to stroke off. To climax. In front of people. Purring.

I have to wonder if we did something wrong in his upbringing. Was it an early experience at the hand, or rather paw, of a more sly and less public sexual offender in the nekos? Did he somehow get addicted to internet images of naked male cats? Has he been surfing the furry and yuffing sites behind our back? Or is it simply that Lupin is a sick bastard of a cat with a drool issue and too much testosterone? Maybe if we fed him more brussels sprouts.

Love you, Grandma

Grandma
Originally uploaded by Lyskitsune.

I got a phone call last night from my Uncle Malcolm in Tennessee. My grandmother, Estelle, is ill and isn't expected to make it through today. She's a venerable lady, it is true, and she's lost both her daughters, my Aunt Dagmar back in 1995 and Mom in 1999, plus her husband, so she'll be heading to a family reunion. I had an incredible time with Grandma, this lovely lady with an overdeveloped sense of forgiveness and patience, a genuine laugh always full of light and fun, and a love of books and mysticals. Idaho farmgirl, Seattle socialite, university student, war wife, mother, grandmother, matriarch kitsune, I will always love you, Grandma.

I love egg, fresh egg! I love egg, white egg! really really love you soooo!

Okay, yet another weird mother-daughter connection has occured, when my eldest, the kyuuketsuki, had a craving for hard-boiled eggs at the same time as me. Into the pot went a dozen white beauties and we have sated our need, she with them straightly peeled with hot sauce on them, me with my favorite egg salad sandwich recipe.

I Love Egg!

Kitsune Happiness Egg Salad

4 hard boiled eggs, peeled
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
2 teaspoons sweet-hot mustard
3-4 dashes worchestershire sauce
1 tablespoon dried chives
1 tablespoon dried parsley flakes
2 tablespoons dried chopped onions
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Combine all ingredients in bowl. Chop mixture into egg with pastry cutter or fork. Makes enough for 3-4 sandwiches.

Temple of the Trideity

Temple of the Trideity

Okay, last other blog reference, but he has kitsune as an interest, and he likes to mess with people's heads, proving he's got a bit of kitsune in him. Might also explain that girly bit there, Naoko, since even male kitsune tend to be a bit feminine in behavior and appearance. ;)

American Apathy

American Apathy

I like his attitude, I love his style. Read it!

The Vaults Down Below: The Sins in a Cat

The Vaults Down Below: The Sins in a Cat

Great read on a great Poe tale!

On rainy days in mystical families...

Sunny California is being soaked by El Niño. Now this can cause a hint of cabin fever in any family, but in a homeschooling family of mystical creatures, it can get dangerous. Now consider, you are aware that I am kitsune. I married, however, an oni, and thanks to him I gave birth to a kyuuketsuki and a tengu. Now I realize some of you may not even know what those are, so I shall put them in the English context. A kitsune is a forest spirit in the form of a fox, but who can also take the form of a girl. An oni is more like an ogre, although better looking than the European version, as well as more intelligent and civilized. A kyuuketsuki would be better known to you as a vampire, and a tengu would fit the mold of a faerie. Anyway, back to the rain.

Homeschooling works well for our family, as you can imagine that no school is set up to deal with the special needs and odd hours of mysticals. Our oldest, in particular, is practically a mental zombie until dusk. Our youngest has difficulty avoiding boys trying to yank on her wings. For these and other reasons we switched a couple of years ago to Julian Charter and quite enjoy the arrangement. The only snag is when rain keeps us from heading out to stretch our legs. Add to this our colony of rescued nekos, our pet growlithe, the gay chinchilla couple, the dragon, and the cross-dressing terrapins and you have too many legs confined in one space for comfort.

I'm most worried about my youngest, the tengu. She's energetic all year round, as Japanese fae don't hibernate like their European cousins, but without the ability to blast around the neighborhood playing football-soccer-basketball-dodgeball-hockey (a complicated game I have never mastered the rules for) with her human friends, I fear for her very sanity. I have just watched her suffer a meltdown over running out of egg yolk in her sunny-side ups before running out of toast. In a non-mystical family they'd probably put it down to adolescent hormones, but I know the truth here. She needs to flit through the flowers. The eldest, our lovely kyuuketsuki, is not much for sunshine at any time, but even she is suffering. This is mostly due to my mate, who is suffering an oni manic bout of cleanliness due to not being able to go out and chew on demons. He's vacuuming. In her general vicinity. She has just informed him that if he continues she will love him less.

Our growlithe, who usually hangs out in the backyard, and the neko herd, who usually hang out in the front yard, have all been forced to share space under the roof with us at the same time due to general flood conditions outside. Being natural enemies of the dog-and-cat variety, this has led to an absolute fog of animal tension hanging about the living room, with the growlithe setting up camp under the coffee table and the felines taking over all positions of altitude advantage. The gay chinchilla couple are highly edgy about this situation, being peaceful and defenseless creatures. In particular the two kittens, Zaazaa and Garfield, are causing them grief, poking paws through the bars of their cage to tweak their tails. It is hard to judge the effect on the dragon as he only has one expression for all occasions, a baleful glare. The terrapins are the only ones who seem contented by the increased level of humidity, although Heila, the Russian tortoise who had fooled us into originally naming him Sheila, has been annoying our Malaysian box turtle with a higher than usual frequency of sexual advances.

As you can see, we are in desperate need of a sunny afternoon to escape these four walls and get our jitters out before claws and fangs are used in a moment of trapped desperation. Maybe we'll go walk the mall and scare the straights at Hot Topic. Yeah.

We all need inspiration sometimes...

Writing is a vital exercise for the mind, it is true. This is one reason for blogs, and some people start or join blogs with every intention of keeping up on this exercise, but after an energetic start, lose the wind in their sails and can't think of anything to write. Writer's block, we all know what it's like. If you do run across it, don't stop writing. Like any exercise program, the breakthroughs and advancements come when we bite the bullet, keep up the discipline, and work out anyhow. When you're stuck, stop writing whatever it is you're getting frustrated with and just start writing about something else. Now this can be nigh impossible without a little nudge, which is where online writing prompt generators come in. Just click on one of the links below and go for it.

Write On Prompt Generator
Imagination Prompt Generator
Chocolate Box (a truly fun one, btw)
Be Creative Adults